Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Bush Pitches Private Accounts for Homeland Security
Frustrated by the tepid response to his plan for bolstering Social Security, President Bush has shifted gears, introducing his theory of private accounts into another ailing program: Homeland Security.
As part of Bush's "ownership society," citizens will be able to set aside money from their paychecks--before taxes--if they use that money to protect their families from terrorism and nuclear holocaust. If the plan succeeds, the U.S. government will then stop protecting its borders altogether.
In related news, Halliburton Corporation recently unveiled its new line of retail bomb shelters, HAZMAT suits, gas masks and SCUD missiles.