Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Study: Elvis Sighted More Than Bin Laden in War on Terror

U.S. troops in Afghanistan and along Pakistan’s border claim to have spotted Elvis Presley during President Bush’s War on Terror more often than Al Qaeda mastermind Osama bin Laden, according to a recent study conducted by the Order of Organizational Psychology Specialists (OOPS).

“It’s interesting because Elvis Presley is very much deceased, while bin Laden is still very much alive and on the loose,” OOPS chief Roderick Smedley said. “Based on the data we collected, either the troops searching for bin Laden are wildly hallucinating of their own accord, or the War on Terror is causing their hallucinations. Or Elvis Presley is alive and performing nightly in Afghanistan.”

The situation, says OOPS, is even more dire than suspected. In addition to rampant Elvis sightings, troops are also claiming to see fellow deceased musicians Jerry Garcia, Dennis Wilson and Kurt Cobain more often than bin Laden, who, as mentioned earlier, has still not been caught, dead or alive.

When told of the study, Bush said, “Elvis is alive? Awesome!”

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